iAnorexia
by the skittle eating polar bear
Summary: Freddie and Sam have an argument but Freddie's words have terrible consequences. Suck at summaries but story is better  I hope .
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly  
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**Sam's POV**

I look in the mirror. Disgusted by what I see. Me in my underwear trying to breath in as much as I can but the fat just doesn't disappear. My eye's couldn't help but water as I remember what happened earlier today.

_"FOOD" I said as I ran to the table to eat the spaghetti tacos spencer made. I shoved as much food in my mouth as possible_

_"Pig" I heard Freddie mumble so only he could hear. To tell you the truth it hurt._

_"What i'm hungry" I said as it was getting uncomfortable him just stood there watching me_

_"You can't be hungry on the way home from school you've eaten 10 fat cakes how can you still be hungry no guy want's to date someone who eats like you. You're making yourself fat!"_

_I felt tears in my eye's but no way was I going to let him see me cry. So I calmly picked up my bag and walked out the door._

And now i'm here in my room looking at myself in the mirrow feeling disgusted. I don't know how I never noticed how bad I look. It makes me feel so stupid that I never realised this. This morning I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked pretty and skinny. Only 9 hours later and i'm looking at myself and I just look FAT.

I guess freddie was right. Why would any guy want something that looks and eats like a pig when they could have someone skinny and beautiful like Carly. I pick up a clothing magazine from the floor I remember carly and I had been looking through it the other day on our way home from school. From cover to cover it is full of all these beautiful women perfect body perfect weight and it make's me think why can't I look more like that. I bet they can get any guy they want. But who would want me. I rip the magazine in half. I fall on my bed and I cry.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: _Yes Freddie is a little out of character at first. Written on my own experience so please don't judge anorexics in the comments. First real Fanfic so it probably is terrible._


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly

Next Day

Sam's POV

Day one, I thought to myself as I walk up the hallway. The first day of not eating. I know whatever I do I can't cave. I walk in Carly's apartment to see her sat on the couch watching tv.

"where did you go yesterday" she asked me I didn't know what to say I couldn't tell her that I was upset about what Freddie said. I know I have to lie.

" I had stuff to do" possibly the worst lie i've ever told

"you wan't some breakfast" she asked and I was so tempted but I managed to say no I just sat down by the side of her the day went by so slowly watching my best friend eat and eat. It didn't affect her she could stay beautiful it hurt me just watching. I really wanted to eat something but I couldn't. I had stomach pains for most of the day since I was so empty and I had the worst head ache. After spending the day at carly's I walk home. I get home and walk straight to my bedroom. Slowly strip off in front of the mirror breathing in because i'm scared of what I will look like if I breath out. I change and climb into bed. It's only 8 but I feel tired and a little ill so I lay down and close my eyes. As I fall asleep I remember the moment over and over. The words go round in my head.

"Pig"

"You're making yourself FAT"

"No guy wants to date a girl who eats like you"

I could feel the tears building up again but I managed to hold them in.

The next day I wake up my stomach feels empty but I have to ignore it. I go through to the kitchen and drink water so much of it that I feel full again even though I know this feeling wont last for very long I go back to my room and get dressed this time I don't even look in the mirror. I don't want to see what I look like today so I just ignore the instinct to look and got dressed. I walk through town to Carly's, I go the long way so I can get as much exercise as possible. I finally get and Freddie are sat on the couch eating popcorn watching some film and I join them like everythings normal. We sit there talking and it's like the other day never happened. I'm the only one who remembers it. I'm actually happy about that though cause this way it's like i'm the only one who remembers how much of a pig I was. They keep offering me popcorn but I say no i'm getting better at controlling myself. Another day goes by everything normal except for the fact that i'm not stuffing my face with any food in sight and i'm drinking a lot more water than I normally would. It gets to almost midnight Freddies gone home. Me and Carly just sit here watching tv.

"i better be getting home" I tell her as I head to the door

"don't you want to stay the night you always stay on sundays" she asked me

theirs so much going round in my head I honestly forgot that I was staying the night or even that it was sunday so we both head upstairs to her room.

We walk into her nicely decorated room and she climbs into her gorgeous big bed everything has to be the best for miss perfect.I climb onto the window seat which i'm surprised I can actually fit on and close my eyes but try not to fall asleep until she has. I wait until her breathing is in a slow rhythm so I know she's asleep. I sneak downstairs being as quiet as I can since I don't want anyone to wake up and see me. I get downstairs and walk into the kitchen. I go through the fridge looking for something small and healthy to eat but decide to just take an apple from the counter. I take about 3 small bites then throw it in the bin and get a few glasses of water and head upstairs. I climb back onto the window seat being careful not to wake Carly and settle down to go to sleep.

I've not eaten much but I still feel fat. I still feel disapointed like I have to try harder.

Authors Note: Sorry it's short they will get longer.


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Sorry if you were expecting another chapter. I don't know if i'm going to carry on with this story since all i'm getting is bad reviews from anonymous people (shock their). Apparently i'm copying 2 other stories that i've not actually read but i'm about to because I want to see how similar the stories are. Also I do know what anorexia is because I was anorexic so to the person sending me inbox's saying i'm so dumb I don't even know what it is please stop it's annoying. Sorry if it sounds harsh i'm just a little annoyed. Don't know whether to carry on with this story have another chapter already written so if I decide to carry on it will be posted later today. Thats all. Bye :)


	4. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own icarly**

**Sam's POV**

I woke up to the smell of bacon. I get dressed and make my way downstairs to see Carly making breakfast.

"Hope your hungry I made bacon." Again I had to lie it's all I do now

"I'm not that hungry" I reply hoping she will believe me

"Are you sure I got bacon" She asks

"Yeah i'll just grab something at school" I said hoping that will be enough for her to drop the subject"

So we both grab our school bags and head to school. We arrive at school and walk up to our lockers everything seems pretty normal Freddie is stood by the lockers waiting for us. We walk over and Carly and Freddie start talking about todays history test. I completely forgot about it but I probably wouldn't have studied anyway. The day passes by so slowly just waiting to go home. The bell finally went and I run out of class cause i'm really not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.

I make my way home and go straight to my room and just lay on the bed. My mums not here I really don't know where she is she's never around. I just lay on my bed with my thoughts. My stomach feels so empty that it hurts. I just have to find a way to take my mind off it. I remember that my mum had bought a treadmill when she tried to diet. The diet only lasted a day so my mum didn't really use it I don't think it was ever turned on. I go into the living room and start running on the treadmill. I run and run for hours just to take my mind off my empty stomach. I didn't even notice it getting dark. It's almost midnight so I go into my room and stand in front of the mirror. I slowly strip and feel tears building up in my eyes from the reflection in the mirror. I hate that person. It's weird how a couple of days ago I could look in the mirror and feel fine now I look in and I feel fat, ugly, disappointed. I change into my night clothes and climb into bed. I feel tired so I close my eyes as I fall to sleep that moment goes through my head over and over again. The moment this all started.

The next morning I wake up I don't feel so good but I try to ignore it and get out of bed anyway. I set my alarm for 6 am. I hate early morning but I thought i'd do a little exercise before school. I change into a pair of sweats and t-shirt and head over to the treadmill. I run for about an hour. I didn't notice the time until carly called me. I ignored her call to go get ready for school.

I walk through the school doors and walk up to Carly and Freddie who are at the lockers. It looked like they were both in some serious conversation.

"Hi" I say as I join them

"Hey what happened to you yesterday you didn't come round after school?" She asked me.

"I had stuff to do home work" I replied. Since i've not been eating i've become very bad at lying.

"Ok" She sounds confused but I think she bought it.

So we head to class and again the day goes by so slowly. I kept spacing out. It's hard to concentrate since my head is so messed up right now.

I try to act as normal as possible I don't want anyone to know my secret. I don't want people to think she's that fat she has to starve herself to loose weight. I act as normal as possible. I ignore the horrible emptiness in my stomach and the sharp pains I keep getting in my head and chest and act like everythings fine.

The pains worth it. When I look as skinny as carly or all those models I won't even care about the pain i'm feeling it will just be an old memory. I won't even remember the day Freddie Benson called me a PIG.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** So I decided to ignore all the hate and carry on with the story. Thank You everyone for the reviews telling me i should ignore the hate and carry on. Sorry this chapters so short but my batteries  
>about to die so i'd rather upload a little than nothing. Please review :)<p> 


	5. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly  
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**Sam's POV**

The next morning I woke up to the same emptiness in my stomach. I just ignored it and got changed into grey joggers and white t-shirt then started running on the treadmill. I ran and ran and ran until I got a text. I checked the clock. Shit! It was 10:00am, I was late for school! Running upstairs, I grabbed a top from the banister and changed. I pulled on some jeans and shoes, grabbed my bag then ran out the front door to get to school.

Later that day, I was sat in detention. The minutes ticked by but it felt like years, finally, I was aloud out. Walking out of school I got greeted by my friends.

"Sam!" Carly exclaimed "We haven't seen you since last night. Where've you been?" I sighed, hoping the ground would swallow me up.

"Well..." Freddie urged, hoping I would answer. I looked at them both. I really didn't know what to do. I couldn't think straight, I just had to get away from them. I started running in the opposite direction. I didn't know where I was going, I couldn't think. All I knew was that I had to get out of there.

**Freddie's POV**

I watched her run around the corner. She was being awfully weird, ever since I called her a pig. I really don't know why I said that now. She's not a pig. She just loves food, everyone does. I turned to look at Carly but she'd disappeared. She must have left without me noticing, while I was thinking. I groaned. Why have I turned into some monster ? I pulled my bag onto my shouder and walked home.

**Carly's POV**

I ran around the corner after Sam. I had to find out what what was up. I ran around another corner and I saw Sam sat on a bench at the end of the road. I ran up.

"What was the matter with you back there?" I asked. She just stared into nothing. "Uh, Sam?" I waved my hand infront of her. Still nothing. "SAM PUCKETT" I screeched. She still didn't answer me. What's been wrong with her lately? I sat down waiting for her to come back to planet earth.

AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks to KATIE for helping me with this chapter. Go check out 37KMV :)


	6. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly.  
><strong>

**Sam's POV**

I just sat there. I knew I would have to talk to Carly sooner or later, but I just couldn't face it right now. I sat there staring into space hoping that she would just give up and leave. She didn't.

"What do you want?" I ask acting like I don't already know.

"What's been going on with you lately?" She asked. I just stare down at the ground.

"I've hardly seen you recently you hardly ever hang out with me anymore and you're looking really different" she shouted. I'm not sure if she's mad or just worried about me.

I don't know how to answer so I just carry on staring at the floor.

"I'm worried about you Sam you've not been yourself recently."

I can't tell her what I've been doing because she wouldn't understand, she's perfect she wouldn't understand someone being so fat and ugly they have to starve to look good.

"I gotta get home I got homework to do I'll cya tomorrow." I'd only just finished the sentence when I started running. I didn't want her to stop me so I run as fast as I can until I reach the house. I make sure I lock the door behind me so if Carly comes to the house looking for me she wont be able to get in and I jump on the treadmill. I feel tired and weak but I don't care, the only thing that's important to me is being beautiful. I run for hours I can hear my phone keep beeping from on the table but I just ignore it I know it will be Carly wanting an explanation and right now I can't come up with anything. The only option is to avoid her, but I'm not sure how long I can keep it up for.

**Carly's POV**

What could be wrong with Sam. She's been acting so different recently and it's starting to scare me. I've hardly seen her and whenever I have she's been acting weird. She skips lunch which is really unlike her. She's looking really pale and tired all the time. She always has bags under her eyes like she's not slept. I noticed she's also been dressing different recently in loose t-shirts and baggy clothes. She's my best friend and it's scaring me to see her like this and not know what's wrong.

**Sam's POV**

I wake up the next day feeling cold and weak. I slowly get out of bed having to hold onto the dressing table to keep my balance. The emptiness in my stomach is hurting a lot more than it normally does so I go into the kitchen and drink as much water as I can. Since I over slept I don't get chance to do any running before school. I go back into my bedroom and get changed. I throw on some jeans and a t-shirt. Before this all started that t-shirt fit me perfectly now it hangs off my body. It's strange how it makes me feel good. I grab my school bag and head to school. While walking to school I think of all the excuses I could use about yesterday but I know they wont fall for any of them. I have to find another way out of it.

I walk through the school doors, Carly and Freddie are at the lockers talking as soon as Carly notices me she runs up to me, he follows.

"SAM!" Carly exclaimed as she pulled me in for a hug.

"Hey Carls." I said, trying to act as normal as possible.

"What happened to you yesterday?" She asked.

I wasn't sure what to say. She could tell by my face I was thinking of an excuse.

"You've been acting different recently. What aren't you telling me Sam?"

Just as I'm about to make up an excuse the bell rings.

"I'll talk to you later I can't be late to class again. Bye." I say walking away. as I walk around the corner I look back to see them both just stood there looking confused.

**Carly's POV**

She just walked off leaving me and Freddie stood here. I don't care what she thinks I'm going to get the truth out of her.

" We have to find out what's wrong with her" I say just as Freddie was about to walk away.

"How do you plan on doing that. Sam's the best liar we know if there is something she doesn't want us to know she'll make sure we don't find out what it is."

He has a point. When Sam has a secret she'll do whatever she can to make sure nobody finds out.

"You talk to her" I say.

" Why would she talk to me she hates me."

"I've tried talking to her you can at least try. Try bribe her with bacon or something."

"No she'll probably kill me then eat the bacon and if she's still hungry eat me too."

"Please for me?" I look at him with my most persuasive eyes I can hoping he will cave.

"Fine, but you have to arrange my funeral."

"Deal!" I say and we both head off to class together.

**Sam's POV**

After school I ran home before Carly had the chance to find me. I got changed and got on the treadmill. I know I do a lot of running but it's good for me, people say you should exercise that's what I'm doing.I heard a knock on the door and just ignored it hoping whoever it was would leave but they wouldn't leave. They kept knocking so I walked over to the door and heard a voice.

"Sam it's Freddie open the door.I know your in there."

I head back to the living room, he'll get bored and leave. I start feeling a little weak so I grab onto the closest thing I can find. Unfortunately it was just a plant and it fell to the ground making a loud noise I'm sure Freddie will have heard.

"Sam I know you're in there. I can hear you."

I walk back over to the door.

"what do you want?"

"let me in!" He's starting to sound angry.

"Has Carly sent you?"

"No I just want to talk."

I finally decide to open the door, slowly because I'm struggling to keep my balance.

He enters and we both go into the living room.

"What's been going on with you lately."

The same question. I've lost count of how many times i've been asked that these last couple of days.

"Nothings going on I'm fine."

"You've not been acting fine, you've been acting different."

"How i'm still the same me."

He looks at me a little confused.

"The same me fat ugly stupid." I say to myself quiet enough so he can't hear.

"What?"

"Nothing I didn't say anything."

"Carly's worried about you."

"I thought you said she didn't send you here."

"She didn't but I know she's worried about you."

I hate myself for making Carly worry. To be honest I don't understand why she's worried. I'm fine just getting healthier than before, why should she be worried about that.

There is suddenly an awkward silence between us. Both waiting to see who breaks it.

"Where's your mum?" He asks deciding to be the brave one.

"I don't know she's gone away with one of her boyfriends."

"Is the treadmill your mums?"

"Yeah she's trying to get in shape it's not working. Do you actually want something or have you just come here to bug me?"

"Sorry. I'm just here to say that whatever it is your hiding you can talk to me or Carly. It must be pretty big to be able to change you this much."

"I told you it's nothing now can you please go"

I stand up and point to the door. I suddenly go very dizzy my legs go weak and my vision blurs. I feel something holding me up. After a few seconds my vision is clear again and I feel fine, well fine enough to stand on my own. Freddie's hands are on my arms. He was the thing holding me up. I shake my arms free from him and he looks at me confused.

"Are you ok what happened?"

"I'm fine I'm just not feeling too well. I think I'm going to go to bed will you please leave?"

"OK. I'll see you tomorrow.

He smiles at me and lets himself out.

I can't believe that just happened. I literally showed my weak side in front of the nerd. I need to get control of myself.

**Freddie's POV**

It was so strange. It looked like she was about to collapse or something she really scared me. I grabbed onto her arms to keep her up and she felt so tiny. I could wrap my full hands around her arms they were so small. She looked so weak. She said she wasn't feeling well maybe that's what was wrong. I also noticed her skin was cold. She felt like she'd just come out of a freezer. I know something's not right. I also know I can't ignore this...

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry if it's terrible and if spellings wrong. I wrote it at 2 AM. Not my best hour. Sorry that theirs not much seddie. YET. There will be more. :) REVIEW PLEASE, Why not the button's just there. :) :)**


	7. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: Do I own ICarly? I'm a 13 Year old girl... What do you think.  
><strong>

**Sam's POV**

I wake up the next day around 6. I run on the treadmill for an hour and then get ready for school. As I get changed I look in the mirror. My hip bone sticks out and my ribs do too. It makes me feel great. I still need to loose a lot more weight to look like Carly but at least I'm making progress. I pick up my bag for school and head out the door.

I walk through the school doors and see Carly and Freddie stood by the lockers. The best option is to have as little contact with them as possible so I head down the hall and straight to class. I manage to avoid them all morning since we had non of the same classes. At lunch I was at my locker when I saw Freddie heading over to me. He knew I'd seen him so I couldn't try hide or he'd get suspicious so I just had to stay there and talk to him.

**Freddie's POV**

I saw Sam by the lockers at lunch. I need to find out what happened yesterday at her place. I need an excuse to touch her, to see if she was as small as she felt yesterday. When I approached her I could see fear in her eyes, which was weird for Sam since she's never scared.

"Hey Sam."

"What do you want?"  
>"I just wanted to make sure your ok."<p>

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Yesterday when I came to yours you said you weren't feeling well"

"Well I'm fine now"

"You sure?"

I need to find out what's going on with her. I'm worried about her.

"Yes now will you leave me alone I don't want to be seen talking to you."

"Sorry..."

Then she walked away. I don't care whether she wants me to or not I'm not going to ignore this. I know what I saw yesterday she looked weak and tired. She almost collapsed for Gods sake that's not normal. I need to find out what is going on with her...

**Sam's POV**

I walk away from him as quickly as possible.

I don't know if he fell for my little act, but I know if he didn't then he's going to start getting in my business. I avoid him for the rest of the day just to make sure he doesn't ask any more questions I've not got answers for. When I get home I go into my room and get changed. Looking in the mirror I don't see the same person I used to see. I don't see the fat ugly strong person I used to see. I see an average looking girl but I feel weak. I can barely stand I can't even think straight. I know what I'm doing is wrong, lying to my friends and everything but it makes me feel good about myself. Everyone's aloud to be selfish sometimes. When I'm changed I get on the treadmill and start my run. Time passes by so quickly when I'm running, it's like I'm in a world of my own. I didn't even here someone come through the front door. I didn't even see someone stood in the room until they spoke.

"What are you doing?" He asked me looking confused.

He made me jump and I ended up falling to the ground. He helped me stand up grabbing onto my arms and I got him off me as soon as I could. I didn't want him getting too close in case he noticed anything.

"GOD! Haven't you heard of knocking." I literally screamed at him. I don't know if I'm angry or just embarrassed he saw me on the treadmill.

"I did you didn't answer the door."

"So you broke in!"

"I found your spare key"

"What do you want dork?" I ask him, I know I'm probably bright red in the face right now.

"Why were you running? You hate exercise." He has a point. Before this all started I couldn't even be bothered to walk to school. Now I run for hours on a treadmill.

"A girl can run if she wants."

"Yeah, a girl can. You can't. It's just not normal."

I'm a little hurt that he doesn't think I am as good as other girls but I can't let him see that.

"If you don't want anything can you just get out!"

He can tell I'm starting to get mad.

"I'm worried about you Sam."

"You don't need to worry about me I'm fine."

I don't know how much longer I can keep lying to my friends. It's getting harder and making me feel so guilty.

"You're not fine. Me and Carly never see you no more. You hardly ever talk to us, you always seem to be alone. You look a lot different and not in a good way."

"What do you mean not in a good way"

I know he's not finished with his little speech but I really needed to know what he meant when he said I look different and not in a good way. Did he mean I was looking fatter or uglier or what. I needed to know.

"I mean you look weak, you have bags under your eyes, you look tired, you're dressing different, all your clothes seem to be too big for you. Your hair is all dry and weird. You're not acting yourself either. You're acting weak and paranoid. Everyone's noticing it's not just me and Carly."

"I'm fine!"

"Don't lie Sam I can tell your not, why won't you tell anyone why you're acting weird?"

"Cause it's nobody's business"

"So there is something"

Shit.

"No."

He caught me out.

"Sam what is it?"

"it's nothing just leave please."

My eye's are starting to water and I'm sure he's noticed.

"Sam are you crying?"

"No, now will you please get out!"

He's making me so angry. I'm more mad at myself though for letting him see me cry. Control yourself girl!

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong now leave!"

I try to push him away so he'll get the message that i'm not joking. I use all my strength but I can't move him. Not even a tiny bit. I try so hard but I just feel so weak. I can feel my arms shaking, my legs feel numb. My vision blurs and I just can't take it no more. I fall to the ground hitting my head pretty hard on the ground I feel a hand on my arm.

Then everything goes black...

**Author's Note:Hope you liked this chapter. Won't be able to upload over the weekend since i'm going camping. Will next upload on Monday. Please review cause it's gunna stay terrible until you tell me what's making it terrible. Thanks for reading :)**


	8. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly.  
><strong>

**Freddie's POV**

I'm sat in the hospital waiting room, doctors and nurses keep flying past me. No one will tell me what's wrong with Sam. The last I saw was them wheeling her off on a hospital bed. She was unconscious and for the first time in her life she looked so vulnerable.

I still don't understand why she collapsed or if she's ok because nobody will tell me anything. I called Carly told her what happened she should be here soon. I guess all I can do now is wait.

**Carly's POV**

When I got a call from Freddie and he told me what happened to Sam I was so scared. I made my way to the hospital and now I just have to find where Freddie is. When I finally find him in one of the many hospital waiting room I can see the fear in his face. I run up and hug him and we just sit there for hours waiting for someone to come tell us what's wrong with Sam.

When they finally talked to us I couldn't believe it. They told us Sam is unconscious and they don't think she's been eating. Some eating disorder. I just can't believe it. Why would she do that to herself. I know she's been a little distant but could this really be the reason. Sam loves food no way would she stop eating it's just not possible. They told us as soon as she wakes up we can go see her.

**Freddie's POV**

I feel so stupid. I should have seen it, I should have known. I can't help but feel this is all my fault. I shouldn't have walked away the other day. I knew something was strange, I knew she felt small and weak but I left her. Why would she do this to herself? Why would she feel the need to starve? I need to talk to her. The doctor came out and told us she was awake. He suggests we go in one at a time. After a lot of talking I finally convince Carly to let me in first.  
>I walk into the room and see a small figure with just a head sticking out of the covers. The figure looks so small it's unreal. I didn't even notice I was staring at her until she pointed it out.<p>

"Will you stop staring at me you're freaking me out."

"Sorry..."

I can't think of what to say. Do I try to talk about it or just pretend it's nothing?

"Sam, can we talk about this?" I try to act brave but I can tell she can see straight through me.

"Why? What's the point?"

"Why would you starve yourself? You must have known what you were doing."

"I didn't starve myself, I just cut down a little."

"Sam..."

"I don't want your pity so will you just leave."

"You could have told me before it got this bad."

"Sure I could..."

"What's that mean?"

"You wouldn't have cared anyway"

"Thats not true, Since you started acting different I've been trying to help you but you wouldn't let me. I tried to help remember I kept coming to your house trying to help you. Why would I have done that if I didn't care? Don't make it sound like I was a bad friend!"

"Bad friend, this is all your fault"

She said it so quietly I don't think she wanted me to hear.

"What?"

"Nothing"

She looks so scared now she's realized I heard her. I slowly sit down on the end of her bed.

"Why's this my fault? Sam..."

**Sam's POV**

What do I do now. I can't tell him. I just need to avoid the subject.

"It's not it doesn't matter"

"Sam..."

What is it about the way he's looking at. It's weird how it's making me want to tell him.

"It doesn't matter just leave"

"Sam, what did I do?"

Shit! He got me.

"You called me fat." I mumble

"What? I didn't call you fat."

"You called me a pig and said that no guy would want to date me and I was making myself fat."

"Oh my god. Sam I am so sorry"

"Don't be you only pointed out the truth"

He makes me feel so stupid now. He knows my biggest secret and his face is completely blank. I can't tell what he's thinking and it's scaring me.

Is he mad? Is he upset? Or just not bothered at all. It's killing me not knowing.

"Say something..." I say finally breaking the awkward silence being impatient.

But he didn't say anything back just moved closer to me and took my hand in his.

I can now read his face. He's full of fear. I don't know if he's feeling guilty or just scared I'm going to hit him for holding my hand. I do nothing and just stay frozen. He keeps moving his mouth as if he's trying to think of what to say.

"Do you really think I meant all that. I was stupid your not fat your not a pig, you just like food everybody does."

"Don't do this, I don't need you to lie to me, I'm not stupid you know."

"I know you're not stupid but I also know you don't want to do this. You need to stop before it's too late."

"What do you mean before it's too late."

"You understand what you're doing is killing you."

"Maybe that's what I want."

"So you want to die?"

I don't even know why I said that I didn't mean it.

"No!"

"When I said all that stuff I was being stupid. You're not fat and you shouldn't think that, this isn't helping you."

"I just want to be pretty"

I finally open up to him.

"You want the truth you're not pretty."

"Thanks"

Why did he have to say that.

"You're not pretty because you're beautiful and one day some guy is going to see that. You don't need to change. Why change something that's perfect. Right."

Freddie Benson just called me PERFECT!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is gunna be a pretty long authors note. I just read a review saying that this is bad that i know nothing about anorexia and i should stop writing. I'm not sure how many times I've said this but I know what anorexia is I suffer from it. Also you say it just goes away and i should stop dragging the story on. When someone is anorexic it sticks with them for life not just til they start eating again. I suffered anorexia almost a year ago now and I've been fine then recently i've not been eating again. This isn't me trying to get attention this is me pointing out facts. Also i don't just take notice of the bad reviews thankyou everyone for your good reviews and even though i have haters telling me to stop writing theres more people who want me to carry on. So yeah rant if spellings off in this chapter i've not been able to concentrate cause of some issues. So review :)


	9. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER:I don't own ICarly**

**Sam's POV**

Me and Freddie sit there talking until we're interrupted by Carly. She enters and gives me the biggest hug ever. Then all three of us just sit here talking and everything feels normal. For the first time in what feels like forever I feel happy. Even though we're in a hospital and I have wires attached to me everywhere but things feel so great it's unreal. When it started getting late Carly left but Freddie stayed. I guess he feels guilty and that's why he's staying. We just sit in an awkward silence. Neither of us know what to say to make this situation any easier.

"You can go home you know I can take care of myself."

"I know I just thought I might stay for a while you know keep you company."

"Your company I think i'd rather be alone."

He still didn't leave no matter what sarcastic comments I made he stays sat there.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Yes I know this chapters like stupidly short. But I have some issues at the minuit which i'm trying to get through which means i don't have much time to write. I'm sorry about that but my health is more important than uploading long chapters. I might post another chapter later today if I can. Thank You for all the comments saying i should ignore the hate. What i don't understand is the hate is about me not about the story or my writing about me. Saying stuff about my anorexia which I don't understand because you don't know me you don't know how my life is so you can't judge me. If you want to randomly hate at least come up with something about the story instead of me. My little rant is over now. Review :)


	10. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER:I don't own ICarly :(  
><strong>

**Sam's POV**

Day's went by the exact same.

Carly and Freddie would go to school then come see me in hospital after. Carly would leave and Freddie would stay as late as possible. Once he even stayed til midnight. They've started feeding me. Well I wasn't exactly eating I had some tube up my nose and had to be fed like that. I'm not quite sure why but it was seriously embarressing.

Now i'm out of the hospital and back home.

It's strange cause I don't know what to do. It's 3 pm and i'm just laid on my bed. I know I should be on the treadmill running cause I know i've probably put a lot of weight on being in hospital but I know it's bad for me and I need to stop. I decide to give in to my doubts and change and head for the treamill. I'm just about to step on when I hear a knock at the door. I look through the window to see Freddie stood there with some bag in his hand. I let him in and he just makes his way to the living room. He just stares at me and i'm sure I am bright red right now.

"What are you doing here"

"I came to see how you're doing"

"You didn't need to."

"I wanted to."

He does a little smile and walks through to the kitchen. I follow him through.

"I bought some food thought i'd cook us dinner."

"So that's why you're here to force feed me."

"I just thought you might want some dinner."

Then he takes a pizza and fries out of the bag and turns on the oven.

"I'm not eating any of that food."

"Why not you love pizza"

"I used to love pizza but not since you know"

"Were you about to use the treadmill?"  
>"Maybe you should start cooking while I go change"<p>

"Ok."

I get changed into my jeans and a loose fit t-shirt. I don't want to look in the mirror anymore because with the time I was in hospital when they fed me using the tube thing I bet I put loads of weight on. All that hard work for nothing. I just have to go back to my diet now i'm out. The only problem is now they know everything I need to find a way to hide it from them.

I go back into the living room to see Freddie putting the pizza and fries on a plate then he hands me a plate. We both sit down and he starts to eat his food while I just stare at minen as if it's some kind of monster. I think he noticed...

**Freddie's POV**

She just stared at the food while I started to eat. I could tell she had fear in her face.

Why doesn't she see how beautiful she is?

"You going to eat that" I ask her but I'm prety sure I already know the answer.

"I can't, I'm sorry." she replies and stands up she tries to walk away but I grab her hand to stop her.

"What are you doing?" She asks

"Come on just sit back down" I push her so she sits back down and I join her.

"Just a little bit you were fine eating in the hospital."

"it didn't feel like I was eating though. They were literally shoving it in me"

She pushes the plate away from her but I push it back to her.

"Just a little bit, you need to eat something Sam"

"You just don't get it do you."

"Don't get what"

"You think i'm just being stubborn and don't want to eat. I want to but I can't!"

"Why can't you eat? What are you so scared of?"

"I don't want to get any fatter. I'm already so fat I need to loose weight not gain it. No guy will ever love me if I'm like this it's like you said."

She tries to walk away again but this time I grab her hand and kiss her lips gently.

The kiss last for around 40 seconds then she pulls away and looks at me.

"What was that?"

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry it's a cliffhanger. It wasn't planned but i didn't have time to write any more and i thought this is better than having to wait another day for me to finish it and upload. Can't upload as often as i used to because i started hell today (SCHOOL) and like i said before got a lot of stuff going on so can't concentrate as much. But i will carry on with this story. Thanks for the reviews they seruously cheer me up thankyou so much so i will upload soon. Like I said Thank You. Please review cause like i said it cheers me up and right now i could do with some cheering up. BYE :)**


	11. Chapter 10

**Sam's POV**

He kissed me! Fredward Benson just kissed me and the weird thing is I kissed him back. I don't know what I was thinking, I'm not even sure I was thinking.

"What was that?"

"You said no guy would ever love you."

"So it was a pity kiss?"

"No! I love you Sam."

"You love me. Why would you love me all I've ever done is make your life hell you don't love me you're just saying that cause you want me to eat the stupid food!"

I practically yell straight in his face.

It actually took me half a minute to notice his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him.

"Don't you get it Sam?You're the only person who thinks your fat and ugly. I love you."

He leans in slowly and kisses me again. This time with more passion.

"You better mean that."

"I do."

He pulls me to sit down on his lap so he can try feed me again.

"So are we gunna be like boyfriend girlfriend now?" I ask him. I just want to be clear what's happened.

"Do you want to be?" I don't think there is a safe answer to this question.

"Do you?" I find a way to turn it back on him.

He doesn't even answer me. Just kisses me and pulls me onto his lap.

"Will you please eat a little something?"

"No. I'm sorry but I just can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't get any fatter. I need to stick to my diet."

"It's not a diet it's starving yourself. You're hurting your body and you don't even know it."

He picks up some fries and feeds me one. I just spit it out onto the floor and run into my room and lock the door behind me. I sit on my bed and cry into my pillow. I've worked so hard with my diet I can't give it up now.

I hear him knocking on the door trying to get in. I feel so bad I just lay there and cry.

**Freddies POV**

I never realized it was this bad. I never realized she was so scared of food. I have to find a way to help her.

I walk over to the door and start banging on it. I have to find a way to get to her.

"Sam open the door! Sam!"

"leave me alone" She shouts through the door I can tell from her voice she's crying.

"I'm not going to make you eat anything tonight just please open the door"

I hear her unlocking the door and she slowly opens it. She has tears down her cheeks and is shaking I pull her into me and hug her trying to make her feel safe.

"It's ok, I got you"

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah it's short again. Sorry about that but soon they will start getting longer again. So I got another review saying that this story is like "PIG" another story. I hadn't read that when i started this story but i did read it and I know the first chapter is quite similar so I am trying to make this different now. I didn't copy that story it just turned out similar. I will make sure the rest is different. So yeah i'm out of things to say now. BTW I am so hyper for idate sam and freddie this saturday. Unfortunatly i have to stay up til 2 in the morning to watch it on livestream since i'm in the UK. Its worth it though. Ok now i'm over :) Review :)**


	12. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly

**Freddie's POV**

We laid on her bed and cuddled for the whole night. It took her a while to get to sleep since she was crying but she did in the end. She looks so beautiful when she's sleeping.

The next day I wake up to an empty bed. I get out of bed and go into the living room. Sam was on the treadmill.

"Sam..."

"Five more minuets."

"Sam. Come on how long have you been on there for.

"Not long"

"Come on'

I grab her waist and pull her away from the treadmill she tries to smack my hand away but I pick her up and carry her over to the chair.

"Why?"

"I need to exercise!"

"No you don't"

"Don't you understand I'm fat. I need to diet I need to exercise. I'm just going to get fatter and then you wont love me. Nobody will love me."

I can tell she's holding back tears. Her voice is shaking.

I pull her closer to me so her head is resting on my chest.

"I love you that's not going to change. You could be the skinniest girl in the world or the fattest I don't care I love you. I care more about your health than your looks."

"You don't mean that though. You're just saying that so I will eat."

"Go get dressed I will make you breakfast ok."

"No."

"Just some toast that's it"

She walks into her room to get changed and I make her toast she comes back out when I am just putting the toast on the table.

I sits down and she stands at the side of me. I pull her to sit onto my lap and kiss her gently. I can tell she's scared to eat it. I just wish she'd see how beautiful she is.

"You don't have to eat it all just a little bit"

"You can't make me do this"

"I just want what's best for you. I know you don't see it but eating will make you more beautiful."

"How?"

"Well if you get healthy again then your hair wont look like it's about to fall out and those bags under your eyes will be gone and you will smile again which is the best thing."

"Really? You mean that?"

"Yeah just eat a little bit."

**Sam's POV**

It's hard to say no to him when you're staring straight into his eyes. He looks so serious it's scary.

" I will eat a little bit but when you're dating a fat girl it's your fault."

"That's never going to happen"

I pick up a piece of toast and even just looking at it it scares me.

"You can do this..."

No pressure here then

I take a small bite a chew it over and over.

"Come on Sam you can do better than that."

I take another bite bigger this time. It feels so good to be eating something again. Before I know it the plate is empty and I've eaten it all. I feel guilty but there was no way I could have got out of it.

"It wasn't that bad was it?"

"I need to run."

I try to stand up but he tightens his grip on my waist.

"Let me go"

"No Sam you need to eat come on"

We walk over to the couch and he pulls me close to him

I feel so guilty for eating. I know I need to just accept it I can't get out of it now, what's done is done but it still hurt to know all my hard work and pain for nothing.

"What are you thinking" He asks me he must have noticed me staring into space.

"Nothing." I seriously don't want to get into a conversation about that now.

"Come on what is it?"

Looks like he's not giving up.

"I just feel guilty that's all."

"You shouldn't you did the right thing."

He kisses my forehead and we just lay there.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi. Thanks for all the reviews I've just finished reading the new one. I got so many it seriously surprised me. I think i got 56 now. Only 8 are bad so just proves theres more love than hate. I got a few reviews from people saying to bring more Carly and Spencer into the story. I writ this before i read those reviews that's why they ain't in it but next chapter i will make sure they are. so yeah i am done with my long authors not:) I always seem to write long authors notes :) Review :)


	13. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly... YET.  
><strong>

**Sam's POV**

Later that day Freddie roped me in to going bowling with him, Carly and Spencer. When we got there Carly ran up and gave me a big hug.

"Sam!" Carly exclaimed. I hugged her in return.

"Hi Carls" I mumbled in reply. I pulled away and turned to Spencer.

"Hey kiddo" he said then ruffled my hair.

They were trying to act like everything was ok but I could tell that they were both worried about me. I just held Freddie's hand and hid behind him. I've not seen Carly for so long I know that Freddie has since he was the one who told her we were a thing now but it still seems weird hanging out with her. Since this whole things started I've not been as social as I was the only person I've really seen is Freddie and thats cause he forced me to see him.

We head over to our lane and set it up. Freddie and I sit down together and he pulls me closer to him so I'm gripping his arm. I don't know why but it's like I'm scared of something and he's the only person who makes me feel safe. He strokes my hand or kisses my head every so often it's like our secret language. It's his way of making sure I'm ok. Carly and Spencer both noticed this but they didn't say anything.

Freddie's POV

After our game of bowling we make our way to the little cafe upstairs for dinner. It makes me a little nervous because I don't know how Sam will act about eating something. If she doesn't want to eat I'm not going to make her because we're out in public and I don't want her feeling self conscious. We all sit down at a table and Carly and Spencer start looking through the menu, I pick up a menu and Sam holds onto my arm. I can tell she's scared I'm going to make her eat something.

**Carly's POV**

They were giving each other little weird stares across the table. I don't know what it was but it was seriously weird.

"What shall I get us 4 lots of fries?" Spencer asks as he stands up from the table.

"Just 3." Sam said, practically jumping down Spencers throat.

"Ok just 3 then." Spencer said then walks away to order the food.

"You not having anything Sam?" I ask. I thought Freddie would have made her eat something.

"No I'm not that hungry" She replies.

Spencer comes back with the fries and we start to eat. I can tell in Sam's face she wants something to eat but she's stopping herself. Freddie tries to feed her a few of his fries but she just turns her head away to stop him.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to 37KMV for help with this. I know it's short again but it's 10.15PM and me and my mate are staying up until 1.30 AM just to watch Idate Sam and Freddie live from America and since we are in UK we have to stay up late. I am tired but seddie is worth it. So yeah please keep reviewing i love to read them. I still cant believe i've reached 62 reviews. I will upload a longer chapter soon. This chapter did have more Spencer and Carly like lots of people wanted and there will be more soon. I am so hyped for IDate Sam and Freddie. Bye :)**


	14. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: No I don't own ICarly...  
><strong>

**Sam's POV**

When we got back from bowling Freddie came round to mine. He spends a lot of time there now since my mums away and he likes to be with me a lot. We get back and I go lay on the couch and watch tv while he goes in the kitchen. He wants to make me food since I didn't eat any dinner. I can smell it, I'm pretty sure it's fried chicken.

"Sam foods ready!" Freddie said as he enters the room with two plates with burgers and fries on. He sits down at the side of me and hands me a plate.

"Just eat a little you don't have to eat it all."

He starts eating his fries and I just watch him. I know he thinks i'm fine about everything but he still doesn't understand I still feel fat. Just because he keeps calling me beautiful doesn't make me feel it. I still feel the same as I did a couple of weeks ago, I still feel fat and ugly. I hate myself so much for giving in yesterday and eating. I didn't put up a fight I just let him talk me into it.

"You ok?" He asks me, he must have noticed that I wasn't eating.

"Yeah, just give me a minute ok."

"Ok..."

A couple more minutes pass and his plate is almost empty and mine is still full.

"Sam, you need to eat that"

I feel tears building up in my eyes. I probably sound pathetic for getting upset over nothing but I feel so bad.

I can't eat but Freddie wants me to, then I will get him angry he will leave and I'll be all alone again. Why do I have to look like this.

"Sam, come on now you did it yesterday"

He moves his chair closer to me and wraps his arm around my waist and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Come on, just a little bit for me."

I pick up some fries and put one in my mouth I slowly chew and swallow.

"Just a little more."

I really want to eat more but it hurts so much.

"I can't do it I'm sorry."

"You're sorry what are you sorry about?"

"I just can't eat anymore of this."

I try to stand up but his grip tightens on my waist to stop me.

"No, you're not getting out of this. Just a little more"

I go back to the fries eating them one by one. It takes me a while to eat but the whole time Freddie sits at the side of me with his arm around my waist. I leave about half a plate because I really can't eat much more.

"You sure you don't want anymore?"

"No I'm fine."

"Ok..."

"I'm going to get changed you staying the night?"

"Sure, I'm not going anywhere." He kisses my head and starts to clear the table while I make my way into my room.

I slowly strip of in front of the mirror. Staring at the ugly reflection I see. I still don't understand why Freddie likes me. I pinch the fat on my sides so hard hoping it will go away, It didn't work. I put my pj's on and when I am fully dressed I lift my shirt up so all I can see is my fat stomach. Sometimes I wish I could just fall of the face of the earth. I wonder if anyone would actually miss me, the earth would probably be a lot lighter without me as well. Freddie walks in so I quickly pull my shirt down to cover my fat up, I just hope he didn't see the horrible sight.

"What were you doing?"

"Nothing. I was just getting changed." I panicked

"Why were you looking at yourself in the mirror?"

"I just like to see what I look like, it's no big deal."

He walks towards me and wraps his arms around my waist from behind so we're both looking in the mirror.

"So what do you look like?"

"What do you think?" I ask him being sarcastic.

"I think you look beautiful. You look perfect"

He kisses my neck and then turns me around so we're facing each other.

"Come on." He takes my hand and leads me into the lounge.

We both lay on the couch and stay like that for hours.

I don't know how I ended up here, kissing Freddie, but I do know i'm not going to let my weight issue be the reason I loose him.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So yeah here's the next chapter. IDATE SAM AND FREDDIE ROCKED! I went mental for it. Favourite part was when they were about to start ICarly and Freddie puts his arm around sam. I have no idea why it's my favourite part but for some reason i love it. Next saturday Ican't take it i am so hyped up for it. Now abotu this story, sorry theres not Carly and Spencer again but there will be more next chapter. Hope you guys liked it. Love reading your reviews so please review. Yeah rant over bye :) :) :) :)**


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly**

**Freddie's POV**

The next day I wake up early because we have school. I go get changed in Sam's bathroom then when I come out I go over to Sam's room and wake her up. She's never been a morning person. We both get ready and make our way to school.

**Carly's POV**

I get my books out of my locker for history class. Freddie just text me to say him and Sam should be here soon they were just outside. I hardly see them any more since they started dating and since Sam's problem. It annoys me a little too because they are both my best friends and now they just spend time together just the two of them. They walk through the doors and straight up to me holding hands. They look so happy together it's weird.

**Sam's POV**

We walk up to Carly at her locker. I hate school Freddie's practically dragging me along. We walk over to Carly, Freddie and her start some conversation about todays history test. I just blank out. I don't really care about a history test so why listen. The bell rings and we head to class. Me and Freddie sit together and since he's a little dork he actually listens to the teacher while I sit there doodling in my book. This is pretty much how the whole day goes.

After school the three of us head to Carly's. We walk in and I sit down on the couch. Freddie and Carly go into the kitchen and get us all a drink.

They come and sit with me and I snuggle into Freddie's chest.

"So what are you guys up to tonight?" Carlys asks.

"Just hanging out here probably." Freddie replies.

"You still staying at Sam's?"

"Yeah. It's better than going home right."

"Lay off it, we all know why you're staying at mine you don't have to lie." I say to him.

He pulls me even closer to him, which I didn't think was possible, then kisses my head. Neither of them know how to reply to that so they just look at each other and it turns into an awkward silence. Until Spencer enters.

"Hey guys I ordered a pizza. But I got to be somewhere so you guys can have it."

"Thanks." Carly replies looking a little happy. Which I really don't understand, why would she be happy that she has to eat. It doesn't make sense to me.

As Spencer opens the door to leave the pizza guy is just at the door he pays him then passes Carly the pizza.

Every time I think I'm going to eat something I always feel scared. I don't know what i'm scared of but I always end up panicking.

Freddie noticed this so he gave my hand a little squeeze. It makes me feel a little better but I still worry.

Carly brings the pizza over and lays it on the table in front of us. They both take a piece and I know they're expecting me to do the same.

They know I don't like eating but I hate it even more when there are people around. I know it's just Carly but she still has an opinion and I don't like thinking about her opinion of me.

"You going to eat something." Freddie asks me.

"Yes, sure."

I slowly pick up the pizza and take a bite. I'm staring at the tv but I can feel Carly and Freddie's eyes on me. There watching me eat and it makes me feel even worse. I hate people watching me eat.

"You know what, I'm not that hungry." I say as I put the pizza back on the table.

"Come on a little more. You've not eaten anything all day."

"I'll get something when we get back home. I'd rather have something when I'm on my own later."

"A little more please."

I pick the pizza back up and Carly looks at the tv. I can tell she's watching me from the corner of her eye she just doesn't want it to be obvious. I take a small bite that gradually start to get bigger. I stick to the one piece of pizza. That's all I can face tonight and for the rest of the night we sit and watch tv. For the first time in a while, things actually seem ok. Maybe even good. It's just my weight I don't like. The way I'm eating again I know I must have put a few pounds on since I started eating again. I just have to make sure I controll it.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry if there are a few spelling mistakes but in my defense it's late and I have school in the morning so I didn't have time to check it over as much as i normally do. I'm not very happy with this chapter I don't think it's as good as previous ones but who knows. I can't be bothered for a long rant tonight since I am falling asleep at my computer so I'm just gunna go to bed and dream about seddie. BYE :) And please review they seriously cheer me up reading them. :):):)**


	16. Another Author's Note

ANOTHER AUTHORS NOTE

Sorry if you were expecting another chapter but I can't exactly write right now. I've just been put in hospital cause of some heart condition I got from my anorexia. I wont bore you with the details I just thought I'd let you know I might not be able to upload for a couple of days while I'm here. I will carry on with the story as soon as I can though. Thank you for all the reviews and I love that you like the story. So basically this message is saying don't think I've given up the story I really haven't but I just need to get better before I write again. Bye :) :) :)


	17. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: I Don't own ICarly  
><strong>

**Freddie's POV**

Once we get back to Sam's we both change for bed and Sam gets into bed. I sit at the side of her waiting for her to fall asleep while holding her hand. I notice her breathing slow down which means she is asleep and try to stand up. Her grip tightens on my hand to stop me.

"Don't go..." She whispers while half asleep. "Sleep here."

So I climb into her bed with her and wrap my arms around her waist from behind. It's actually scary how small she feels. It's like you could just snap her in two. I just wish she would see this.

**Sam's POV**

I wake up the next morning to the smell of bacon. I remember the embarrassing moment from the night before when I asked Freddie to stay in my bed. I mean what was I thinking I bet I looked so pathetic.

I get out of bed and make my way into the kitchen to see him cooking bacon. He smiles and gives me a small kiss on the lips.

"What you cooking?" I ask.

"Bacon. You hungry?"

"Yes, but do you know how many calories are in that. I might as well just drink fat." I reply

"You have to eat something."

"I'd rather just get an apple."

"Ok." He says as he puts the bacon onto bread and sits at the table. I guess I'll just eat it myself. I sit down at the side of him with an apple. I try not to watch him eat, but it's hard how can he eat that but yet keep the perfect body.

"Ok, why are you staring at me?"

"Sorry was I staring, I didn't realize." I look away hoping he doesn't see through my lie.

"Sam..."

Great he's looking at me with those big brown eyes. Now what do I do?

"I was just watching you eat. Sorry."

He rips a little piece of his sandwich off and passes it to me.

"Here eat a bit if your so fascinated by it."

I look at him with doubt but it's so hard not to trust him when he's giving you "the look" I put the whole piece in my mouth and swallow. The minuit I swallow it hits me. There must have been 500 calories in that. I panic. I need to do something to get rid of that now. How stupid could I be I knew it was full of fat but I let him persuade me.

"Sam, you ok?"

"Why did you do that" I practically scream at him.

"Do what?" he says in his calming voice.

"You made me eat that do you know how bad that was for me?" I scream. I didn't think my voice could get any louder. I proved myself wrong.

"Sam, it's ok. It was good for you."

"No it's not. You wouldn't just let me eat my stupid apple would you. You had to shove fatty food down my throat."

"It's ok..."

"No it's not. You know what just forget it I need to run."

I stand up to walk over to the treadmill but he pulls me by my hand onto his lap."

"You need to get ready for school. So calm down and go get changed or we will be late."

"But what about running?"

"We're walking to school it's still exercise."

"Yeah but walking around the corner isn't the same as running for a couple of hours."

"go get changed."

I walk into my room and strip off. I don't look in the mirror cause I'm terrified. The calories probably haven't settled yet anyway but they will soon. I get changed and walk back out.

We walk to school hand in hand I try not to show how guilty I feel but I think I fail.

We walk through the school doors and up to Carly.

"Where've you been? The bell will be going any minuit now."

Great Carly's getting all up in our business now. That's the last thing I need

"We just had a bit of a problem" Freddie said. He gave Carly a little look. It's not the first time he's used this look. It's just telling her to drop the subject and he'll explain later. I hate when he does that cause then I know they're going to talk about me when I'm not there. Then I never want to leave Freddie's side in case he's talking to Carly about me so in the end i'm all paranoid.

The bell rings bringing me out of my thought and taking me Carly and Freddie to class.

Maths first and I hate math.

Me and Freddie sit next to each other. The teacher starts writing on the board and everyone's taking notes except me. I just stare out the window in thought. Why did Freddie make me eat this morning. Why did I take it. I should've said no. Why did I do that stupid thing. It's weird but I''m sure I can feel the food sinking in I can see me getting fatter by the minute. I know if I told someone this they'd think I'm crazy but it's the truth. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I made the biggest mistake the first time I started eating again. I need to exercise the longer I wait the harder it will be to loose the fat. Without even thinking I just stand up and the next thing I know I'm out the door and running down the street. What have I done?

**Freddie's POV**

She just left. The teacher just stands there looking at where she once was. I don't understand what happened. She was fine a minuit ago. I need to find her. I bet she still feels guilty about eating the bacon this morning. Carly and I give eachother a look and walk out the door too. We need to find Sam. We need to make sure she's ok...

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So yeah i said i wouldn't upload for a while but i managed to anyway. Right now I am in a hospital waiting room waiting for test results to see if i need so heart surgery or something. Like before i wont bore you with details i would just like to say I'm in a hospital waiting room and I still find a way to upload, that shows some commitment guys. Sorry if this chapter seems a bit bad I'm struggling to concentrate with everyone around me and stuff that's happening but I'd rather upload a bad chapter than not at all. So yeah hope you like it and thank you for all the messages saying to get well soon i really do appreciate it and all the inbox's too. I just love that there are so many people who love my story. I will upload again soon hopefully and i'm just praying i don't need an operation. Please review they mean a lot to me and sorry about the very long authors not it's just so many people have asked how I am It's easier to just write it here than inbox all the people who inboxed me. Bye :) :) :) :)**


	18. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly**

**Sam's POV**

I just run. No idea where I am or where I'm going but I can't turn back. I feel like such a freak it's unbelievable. I know Freddie and Carly are probably looking for me but I just need to avoid them right now.

**Freddie's POV**

Me and Carly split up. We have more chance of finding Sam separately so Carly decides to go look at some of Sam's favourite places while I go back to her house.

She was so upset when she left I just hope she's ok.

**Carly's POV**

I've literally looked everywhere. I just can't find Sam and neither can Freddie. Just as I'm about to go into my apartment I get a text from Gibby.

Gibby's Text: Hey can you go into my apartment and get me my phone I left it there the other day and haven't had time to get it yet since I've been staying at Sam's. You know where the spare key is it's on the kitchen table Thanks, Freddie.

He can be so stupid sometimes. I reach up for the spare key on top of his door and make my way into his apartment.

**Sam's POV**

I don't know how I ended up here but I really don't care. As long as I'm alone then I don't care. I'm outside Freddie's room on the fire escape and I'm crying. I know that is nothing like me but it's not like anyone will see me anyway. I hate feeling like this vulnerable and weak not like myself. I hate it. Whenever I think about it more tears escape. This used to be my happy place. The place I had my first kiss with Freddie, my first kiss ever. Obviously it wasn't a real kiss I mean who would want to kiss me back then when I looked like that. Nobody. The only reason I ever had my first kiss was just to get it over with. I can't believe Freddie was that desperate he kissed me just to get it over with. Me. I bet just the thought makes him sick.

I can hear someone inside. I'm guessing it's Freddie since Crazy's out of town. As long as I stay quiet I don't think he will find me.

**Carly's POV**

I grab Freddie's phone and head back to the door. The apartments silent until I hear some quiet sound. It sounds like somebody crying. I examine the apartment but I can't figure out where the sound is coming from. Then I see something. I see a leg on the fire escape through Freddie's window. As I walk closer to the window more gets exposed until I can see Sam's face, tears strolling down. She looks up at me with fear in her eyes. This definitely isn't the Sam Pucket I know.

**Sam's POV**

Busted.

I was shocked to see it was Carly and not Freddie but I honestly don't care I wish it was nobody. Carly climbs out and sits next to me. She doesn't say a word just puts her arms around me and hugs me tightly. I just cry, it's too late to try control myself now.

**Freddie's POV**

It's been almost an hour since Carly called Sam's house and told me she'd found her. I said I'd go over there but she said they were fine and to just wait here while they talk and that she'd bring her back later. So I've just been sat around like an idiot since then waiting. I can't take it much longer. I need to see Sam make sure she's ok.

Just as I'm about to pick the phone up to call Carly again I hear the front door close and Carly and Sam enter. Sam's eye's are all red and you can tell she's been crying.

Without thinking I just walk straight up to her and hug her so tightly I'm sure it hurt but I don't care.

"Don't you ever do that again. Ok?" I say to her trying to sound caring but it comes out sounding more angry.

"I'm sorry." She replies I can hear in her voice she's still really upset.

I kiss her head and she pulls away from me slightly to look me in the eyes.

"I'm going to get changed." She said then walked into her room. Carly looks at me and I can tell Carly's scared.

"What are we going to do Freddie?" She asks me. "She's so much worse than we thought she was."

"We just have to be there for her. Help her through this."

We both sit down and wait for Sam to come out.

" I don't understand why she hates her body, before all this she had the perfect figure. Most girls would have killed to look like Sam."

"I know that and you know that but Sam doesn't. When she looks at herself she see's the complete opposite of what we see."

Then Sam comes out in her joggers and loose fit t-shirt. We all know what's about to happen.

"Come sit down, Sam." Carly whispers in her most caring voice.

" I'm ok, I was planning on just having a quick run on the treadmill." She says it as if it's no big deal.

I don't say anything back to her just grab the waistband of her joggers and pull her down next to me on the couch so her legs are resting on my lap.

"Or would you rather sit here with your boyfriend and have a good night." I say and kiss her neck hoping to change her mind."

"Freddie…"

"What you can run any time but right now wouldn't you love to come have a good time with me and your best friend."

She snuggles into my chest without saying a word. We just stay like that for the whole night the three of us like the old times. For the first time in a while I actually saw Sam smile and laugh. Hopefully things will start to get better for her now.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope you like this chapter. I DONT NEED AN OPERATION. That sentence deserved capitals. I'm so happy about that so hopefully now i will be uploading more. My Laptop Broke :( He was called Spencer (weird coincidence) When my new laptop comes i will post a new chapter probably every day. I wasn't planning on uploading today but someone writ a review saying it was their birthday and they would like a chapter so Happy birthday shelbywayloves :) And thank to my awesome mate for lending me there laptop to write this. I cant take it was AMAZING, again i stayed up til 1 in the morning to watch it since im in the uk. My favourite part was the beginning where they're in Carlys room and Freddie enters and he says hi cuteness and she says lips please and they kiss. I love that part. Thanks for all the reviews and keep reviewing I love to read them. Rant over BYE. :) :)


	19. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly.**

**Freddie's POV**

The next morning I wake up with Sam still asleep in my arms and Carly asleep in the chair across. Luckily it's Saturday do I climb of the couch and walk over into the kitchen carefully so I don't wake either or them up. I love how peaceful Sam looks when she's sleeping, it's so sweet. I'm too busy watching Sam I didn't even notice Carly wake up until she walks over to me.

"Hey, how long you been awake?" She asks me.

"Not long." I say without taking my eyes off Sam. I can't get over how beautiful she looks right now.

"She looks peaceful, don't you think"

"She looks beautiful."

**Sam's POV**

I wake up the next day to Carly and Freddie staring at me from the kitchen. When they notice I'm awake Freddie walks over and sits next to me.

"What time is it?" I ask him.

"Almost 11, you ok?"

"Fine, you guys can go home you know, you don't have to stay here."

"We're staying. What do you want for breakfast?"

"I was actually planning on running this morning then having some breakfast after."

Here comes the fight.

"You want to run?" He said sounding confused.

"Yeah, not for long you know just for an hour or something. You said last night I could run anytime." He did actually say that last night it's not like I'm making it up.

He gently place one hand on my knee and the other on my shoulder.

" I know I said that but I didn't think you'd want to run today."

How much of an idiot does he think I am?

"I know what you're trying to do. It's not going to work."

"The only thing I'm trying to do is keep you healthy and alive."

"Why? What's the point in that." I said and look down at the floor.

He gently touches my chin and pulls my head up to look at him.

**Carly's POV**

I can see them both talking but I'm too far away to hear what they're saying. I can tell something's not right since Sam keeps trying to look away from Freddie but he's holding her chin to look at him. They look so cute it's just bad that Sam's not happy.

**Freddie's POV**

"Don't you get it? I need to run." She shouts in my face as she stands up and tries to walk away from me. I can tell she's getting pretty mad now so I pull her back down into the seat next to me.

"Sam, you need to get this out of your head. You don't need to run."

"No you don't wouldn't you rather just sit here and watch some TV with me while eating a little bit of breakfast."

"You know I would, but I can't."

"Yes you can. Please I want to spend some time with you.

"Fine!" She says and moves closer to me

"But you have to let me run some time."

I don't answer cause if I say she can run then I will be lying again but if I say she can't I know she will just completely freak out again. I just need to think about her right now instead of what's going to happen.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So yeah I know i wouldn't be uploading for a couple of days until my new laptop comes but I got so many amazing reviews i decided to upload, so I stole my cousins laptop. I don't think he's very happy about that but what-ya gunna do. This chapter isn't exactly great since I kinda had to rush it but hopefully it's at least OK. Like I say in every authors note please review I seriously love reading them and thanks for all the reviews so far. Bye Bye :) :) :)


	20. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly...**

**Sam's POV**

Me and Freddie sit there watching something on TV, something with a talking pig. Carly made all 3 of us toast and brought it over. I take the toast of her and I know they're trying to hide it but I can tell they're both watching me. That just makes things worse. People staring at me knowing how much I'm eating. Even though they're both eating too, but they can eat whatever they want and stay looking great. I bet that's why they never understand me or my need to run.

**Freddie's POV**

Sam's not eating anything. She's holding her food but just staring into space deep in thought. Carly notices this so she gives me a little nudge. I grab hold of Sam's empty hand and bring it to my lips and place a kiss gently on it.

"Come on Sam…" I say. I don't mean to put pressure on her but we both know she's going to have to eat sooner or later.

"You need to do this" Carly adds.

She takes a small bite and slowly chews when she finally swallows I see tears in her eyes. Looks like we're back to stage one again since the bacon.

**Sam's POV**

I bet I look like such an idiot. Crying over eating toast. Pathetic.

"Sam…" Freddie says. I bet he's getting annoyed by now. Wasting all his time looking after me.

"I know, you don't have to say it again."

He just kisses my head and carries on eating what's left on his plate.

It takes me twice as long to eat as them, but they stay with me supporting me. When there is just one piece of toast left I decide to try get out of eating it.

"I've had enough for now." I say hoping he doesn't make me eat any more.

"Sam, just that one little piece." Carly says.

I don't reply just look over to Freddie by my side.

"I'll make you a deal you leave that then you have some dinner later."

"Fine." I give in so easily I'm actually ashamed. "But nothing too unhealthy"

"Deal" He says and kisses me to make it official.

"So what you guys up to today?" Carly asks obviously trying to change the subject.

"Nothing really, I don't think."

"You guys want to go to the mall? I need some new clothes badly."

"I'm up for it, I need new clothes too. Non of my clothes fit me no more."

"Non of them?"

"No, but it's not a big deal I'll get new clothes."

"OK."

"I just need to call home to get my money ok." Carly says and with that we walk out the door and make our way to Carlys.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I understand this chapter stupidly short but I didn't have much time sorry. My new laptop still hasn't come so I stole my aunties laptop to write this one (Warning anyone in England may want to lock your laptops away because with me around who knows what's gunna happen, this is the 5th laptop I've stole in the past 2 days). I just read my last chapter and I never realized how many mistakes there were in it I just hope it made sense. Thanks for all the reviews they are amazing. Now I'm going because my auntie's discovered her laptops disappeared... Oh No. The last thing, in the first sentence of this chapter I mention them watching a TV show, If you know what TV show it is Review telling me and the first person I will shout out to you in my next Chapter and write any seddie one shot you want (thats how much I love the TV show Hint it's on my profile.) So yeah bye :) :) :)


	21. Chapter 19

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly**

**Freddie's POV**

We walk into some shop in the mall with loads of clothes everywhere. Great clothes shopping. Sam and Carly rush over to a big pile of t-shirts hung up near the wall.

They pile clothes up in their arms and head to the dressing room.

Sam goes behind one of the curtains while me and Carly wait at the other side. I can feel it's going to be a long day since Sam needs a whole new wardrobe.

"Carls!" Sam shouts from behind the curtain.

"What's up?" Carly replies.

"Can you come in here for a sec."

And with that Carly disappears behind the curtain leaving me on my own.

"You two OK in there?" I ask after waiting about 2 minutes.

"One second!" Carly shouts back and then comes out from behind the curtain alone.

"What's wrong? Sam OK?" I ask starting to panic.

"She's fine, the clothes don't fit her."

"Out of all those clothes non fit her?"

"All too big."

"Then let's just go get the smaller size."

"Freddie, there is no smaller size in this shop they only go to size 6 and even they don't fit."

It's only just hit me how bad this really is, how much weight she's actually lost and how small she is. Just then Sam walks out with the pile off clothes again, her face looking down. I can tell she's upset about this. She puts the clothes back without even looking up. I grab her hand and lead her out of the shop. I think that's enough shopping for us today.

**Sam's POV**

I just don't understand. The clothes didn't fit. I mean I thought if they didn't fit it would be cause they were too small, but they were too big.

We finally get back to my house; Carly's gone home so it's just me and Freddie now. It's getting pretty late because we went to Carly's on our way home and spent most of the day there.

I sit down and turn on the TV. I can see Freddie stood by the door. He walks over and sits next to me holding my hand and kissing me as he does.

**Freddie's POV**

I know I need to talk to Sam. See if this morning has made her realise how bad things actually are. So I walk over to her on the couch and sit next to her holding her hand and moving as close as possible to her.

"Can we talk about earlier?" I ask her while trying to get her to look me in the eyes.

"Why? There's nothing to talk about."

"Sam I don't want this to be awkward I just want to try help you see how bad things are. OK."

"OK" She whispers back. She turns her head back to the ground. So I lift her chin to look at me.

"Do you see how much weight you've lost? You used to be a size 14 now even size 6 doesn't fit you."

"That's good it mean's I've lost weight."

"You've lost too much weight. That is a problem. I know you've started eating again but you're still not eating enough. Eventually you're going to have to eat full meals and start putting weight back on."

"See that's what I'm trying to avoid."

"But you can't. To stay alive you need to put a little weight on."

"I know I've lost weight but I meant to do that, if I put the weight back on I've been through this whole thing for nothing."

"And when you die you've been through this whole thing for nothing."

"I'm not going to die; I'd need to be super skinny to be able to die so I never need to worry about that happening."

"Look, I know you don't see how small you are, or how much weight you've lost but I do and I can see that you've lost all your strength. You're not the same person you used to be and to be honest I preferred you when you actually had a figure and acted like yourself. Even though you were aggressive and loud you were you and nobody wanted you to change. You have lost weight. Great but you've also lost your personality and that was worth so much more than your looks."

"I just want to be skinny and beautiful."

"You are beautiful. I don't know how you could think you're not."

I can see tears starting to build up in her eyes. That was a pretty heavy conversation. She doesn't say another word just moves closer to me and rests her head on my chest.

"Can we order pizza tonight? I don't want you to get up and cook" She says into my chest.

Hopefully this is the start of a real recovery.

"We can do whatever you want beautiful." I reply and kiss her head as I reach for the phone.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I'm back! On my brand new laptop who I called Phoebe (if you watch friends you should know why). I hope you enjoyed this chapter. So to all those people who answered Peppa Pig to my last chapter you were all right congratulations. the first person to get it right was Whateva876. Peppa Pig is amazing. So i'm out of things to say so please review. Bye :) :) :) :)


	22. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly**

**Freddie's POV**

The next day I wake up on Sam's couch. Memories of last night come back to me. Sam managed to eat half a pizza and a few fries. I did try to get her to eat the whole pizza but I didn't want to push her too much. She ate half a pizza and there were no tears. She looked a little sad afterwards but we watched TV and talked so I managed to take her mind off things. I am so proud of her right now. Sam enters and sits next to me.

"Hi beautiful."

"You don't always have to call me that."

"I know I just want to."

I pull her closer to me so I can kiss her head she just laughs.

"What's so funny?"

"You. You're acting weird."

"I'm just in a good mood. Soon you'll be your old self, the one who made my life hell for four years."

"Aren't you scared? I might not love you anymore. I mean I didn't start loving you until I lost my mind, when I'm sane again who knows what might happen."

I can tell she's being sarcastic but I hate when she says things like that.

"You'll still love me. I'll make sure of it." I say as I kiss her neck.

She just laughs, I love hearing her laugh. She sounds so innocent.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I ask her.

I hope she's going to give me a simple answer and there's no argument. After last night I don't want things to go back.

"I'll just have an apple, after that pizza last night I'm still pretty full."

"OK." I say and head into the kitchen to get her an apple.

She's actually eating voluntarily now which is amazing. I don't have to ask her to eat or bribe her. I am so proud of her.

**Sam's POV**

I won't lie, I hate that I'm eating again. The only reason I've started eating again is because I've realised something. Yeah there's a chance if I get fatter I'll lose Freddie but I've also realised I can keep this size but I'm definitely going to lose him. I'm more of a charity case to him right now than a girlfriend and I want that to change. So starting now I'm going to try be myself again so we hang out as boyfriend and girlfriend instead of freak and carer.

"Here's your apple." He says sitting back at the side of me.

"Thanks…" I say and take a bite. "You not eating anything?"

"I'll grab something later."

"Come on…" I say pushing the apple playfully towards his mouth.

"You have to eat something…"

He just rolls his eyes at me and takes a little bite.

"See that's how annoying it is people shoving food down your throat all the time."

"Come on eat up. I'll go shower while you eat that."

"OK."

We kiss and Freddie heads into the bathroom.

I eat my apple while Freddie's showering. When he's finished he comes back out with his jeans on holding his shirt in his hands.

Freddie shirtless is basically my dreams coming true. His muscles are just WOW.

"Hi…"

"Ok new rule whenever you are in my house you're not allowed to wear a shirt."

"You like this do you?"

"Maybe a little…" I say biting my lip.

He sits at the side of me and pulls me into his chest.

"OK, so how about today me and you find a few films and stay like this all day."

"You mean you'll stay shirtless? It's winter you'll freeze."

"Then you'll have to keep me warm." He says and in one swift movement he pulls me onto his lap.

"I think I can do that." I say smirking back at him.

We spend the whole day like this. Watching films pressed against each other.

I wish we could do this every day even though I know we can't since we have stupid school tomorrow.

When it got to night Freddie offered to make us some food but I didn't want to move of the couch.

"We have to eat something. It will take me like 20 minutes to make us something."

"You're not moving again. You'll get cold."

"So what are we doing for food?" He asked.

"Just order something from the take away down the road."

"You want another take away?"

"Yeah, because then you don't have to stand up."

"I have to answer the door."

"Which takes you seconds, If you were cooking it would take a half hour."

"Fine we'll order. What do you want?"

"Just a salad."

"Salad. That all.

"Yeah."

"Wouldn't you rather have a burger? Or fried chicken?"

"No, just salad."

"OK, if that's what you want."

He picks the phone up and dials the number.

"Can I have 1 lot of fries and 2 burgers please. Thanks"

I am going to kill him.

I jump away from him to look him in the eyes.

"Why'd you do that." I ask. He looks scared so he's guessed I'm angry.

"I'm sorry, I just thought you'd prefer a burger. "

"Look I know I've started eating again and you think that's a good thing but just because I'm eating again doesn't mean I'm not watching what I eat. You can't make me eat things I don't want to."

"I'm sorry baby..."

I push him to sit back down and snuggle into him again.

"I'll let you off this once. But try it again and there will be pain."

**Freddie's POV**

I'm such an idiot I shouldn't pressure her into eating. I should just be happy she actually is eating, it doesn't matter what it is. She doesn't seem mad no more anyway. Sam turns her head away from the TV to look at me. She leans in to kiss me and just as she does someone knocks at the door.

"That'll be the delivery guy."

I try to stand up but her grip tightens.

"Baby, I gotta get the door."  
>"Fine, but I suggest you put your shirt on or the delivery guy might get the wrong idea."<p>

"Got it." I say as I grabs my shirt and quickly pulls it over my head and leave.

When I comes back in with the take away Sam pulls me to sit next to her again.

I take the food out of the bag and hand Sam the burger in its tray.

"Just eat what you want. OK?" I say. I don't want to pressure her into eating again.

"OK."

I try not to make it obvious that I'm watching her, but I think she knows anyway. She eaten half the burger and I can tell in her face she's regretting it.

"I don't want any more."

"OK," I say and put it on the table for her.

She looks so guilty.

"Here." I say as pick up a handful of fries and feed her then one by one.

"OK now I'm done." She says to stop me from trying to feed her more fries.

I move all the empty food trays to the side and pull Sam closer to me so her heads resting on my shoulder.

"I love you baby…" I say placing a gentle kiss on her head.

"I love you too." She says placing a kiss gently on my lips.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I'm back... Hope you like this new chapter. It took me so long to write because I've not been able to concentrate but i finally did it. I had to mention Nathan Kress's muscles in one of these chapter I mean there AMAZING! I keep getting reviews to tell you Sam's weight I am gunna tell you soon when she's put a little weight on but when someone's in the worst stage of anorexia people do there best to keep them away from the scales because if Sam's just starting to recover then weighs herself and doesn't like her weight they would be right back at the beginning again. I'm going to try upload another chapter today but if I don't it should be tomorrow. I am so hyper for ILove you I'm staying up again to watch it... Last thing, I just got a twitter account where I post information about my stories and tell you when I'm going to be uploading so if you got twitter and wanna follow me it crazyforskittle So please review they make me very happy to know i'm not writing for imaginary friends (at one point I thought i was.) and yeah Follow me on twitter. Bye :) :) :) :) :) :) :) **


	23. Chapter 21

**Freddie's POV**

Sam went to bed about 10 minutes ago. I'm just laid out on the couch watching TV. It's almost midnight and I know I should probably get some sleep since we have school tomorrow. I turn the TV off and just lay there eyes open thinking about everything.

This whole thing Sam's going through is my fault. If I'd not said all that stuff to her she'd be her normal self. I don't even remember why I said that stuff, it's not like it's true.  
>I start to close my eyes when I hear something. It sounds like it's coming from Sam's room.<p>

"Sam?" I say as I climb off the couch and make my way into her room.

I walk into her room and she's curled up on her bed, she's pretending to be asleep but I can tell she's crying.

"Sam what is it?" I ask her walking over to her bed and moving her hair out of her face.

"Can you sleep in here with me? I can't sleep."

"Sure." I say sounding confused.

I pull the covers back and climb into bed next to her, her back facing me and I wrap my arms around her.

"Why are you crying baby?" I ask. This is like the first time I've seen Sam really crying. I've seen her with tears in her eyes wanting to cry, but never actually crying.

"I'm just regretting some things."

"You mean you're regretting eating that burger?"

She doesn't answer just cries more.

"It's ok baby, I got you..." I tighten my grip on her and kiss her head.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes this chapter is stupidly short, and I am sorry about that. I didn't have time to write any more but since this is short I'm going to try upload another chapter today. ILove you was amazing, the ending was so sad. I have no idea if they broke up or not but if they did I'm sure they'll be together again soon. Like i said before In just got twitter yesterday, where I post info about my story and tell you when the next one will be up stuff like that so if your interested follow me crazyforskittle Please review. If you have any ideas where you want this story to go, just review telling me I will take ideas. Bye :) :) :) :) :)**


	24. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly**

**Sam's POV**

The next morning I wake up full of regret. Not because I ate something, because I acted like such an idiot in front of Freddie. I let him see me cry. How stupid. I walk out of my room and see Freddie in the kitchen.

"What you doing?" I ask walking over to him and putting my hands on his shoulders from behind.

"Making us some lunch to take to school. How are you this morning?"

"Fine, about last night,"

"It's fine."

"It's embarrassing."

He turns around so he's facing me now.

"Don't be embarrassed it's a good thing that you talked to me."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. It's good you're letting me in. It means you're starting to trust me more."

"Yeah I guess"

"Why don't you go get dressed while I finish up here. OK?"

"Ok" I reply. I kiss him and go back into my bedroom.

I strip of into my underwear and for a while I've not looked in the mirror, I've managed to resist but for some reason today the feelings just too strong.

I walk over to the mirror and stare at it.

I know I shouldn't look, I've worked so hard to get past that stage but now I've started eating again it must have put some weight on.

Just as I'm about to walk away from the mirror Freddie comes through the door.

"Sam we're going to be late, what are you doing?"

"Nothing I was just getting dressed." I say. I know he can see straight through my lie.

"Sam, you looked in the mirror didn't you."

I don't reply just look away from him.

"Just get dressed we're going to be late for school." He says then leaves.

He looked pretty mad when he left.

I just throw some clothes on and go out to Freddie.

**Freddie's POV**

Sat in class with Sam next to me. She keeps looking over at me but I pretend not to notice. I am so disappointed in her I thought she was recovering. I need to do something about that stupid mirror because that is what's making her feel fat. I need to do something.

**Sam's POV**

After last lesson I see Carly at her locker so I walk over to her.

"Hey, have you seen Freddie?" I ask her.

"No, I thought he was with you."

"No…"

"He wasn't in last lesson either, maybe he's just gone home sick or something.

"Yeah, probably…"

I don't think he's sick, I think he's avoiding me. He was mad this morning I bet that's why he's avoiding me.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So here's another stupidly short chapter. But two stupidly short chapters in one day= one normalish chapter (I hope). So I'm I got over 100 reviews and i only just realised. That is like AMAZING! I danced round my bedroom singing to some taylor swift. I am so happy. I am now gunna try get 150 reviews, I dont think that will happen but I didn't think I'd get 100 reviews so i don't know it could be possible. Follow me on twitter for updates crazyforskittle I'm out of things to say now. Bye :) :) :) :) :) :) :)**


	25. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly**

**Sam's POV**

I make my way home alone since Freddie left school early. When I get to my house, I go through into the living room and fall into the chair. I can't help but feel like I've messed my whole life up. Freddie didn't even care about my weight, he could deal with that, but he can't deal with me still hating my body. He's finally lost his patience with me and stormed off. Not that I blame him it must be so frustrating, he keeps trying to help me and I won't let him, now he's finally given up trying. I reach out to pick the TV remote up to try take my mind off things when I hear a noise, it sounds like it's coming from my bedroom. I walk through slowly not sure what I'm going to find. I just see Freddie going through my closet.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

He jumps around and hits his head on the door. I just laugh.

"Where are your scales?" He asks me in a serious tone. I think he's still mad.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I say looking away from him.

"I know you're hiding scales in here, I read your diary, You know the one where you right your weight every single day. Where are they?"

Busted.

I walk over to my drawers and take my scales out of the bottom drawer and hand them to him. It wasn't until now that I notice my full length mirrors gone.

"Where's my mirror?" I ask

"I took it."

"You took my mirror."

"And I'm taking these."

"You can't, how will I know how much weight I've put on?"

"You won't. That's the point."

"Freddie…"

"Don't, I'm doing this for you."

He then hands me the book that I call MY FAT DIARY. The one I write my weight down in every night when he's asleep on the couch.

"Why are you giving me this back?"

"I want you to rip it. Take your anger out on it."

"No, I need it."

"Either you do it or I do. Your choice."

And with that I take the book out of his hands and rip it into small pieces.

"There, you happy now." I say sarcastically.

"I know you probably hate me right now, but to be honest I don't care, because in a couple of weeks you're going to be happy and healthy again and you will thank me for doing this."

He puts the scales in his bag and pulls me in to hugs him.

"Things are going to get better now." He says to me and gently kisses my head.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Again another stupidly short chapter. Put the baseball bat away though because there will be another chapter up later today. This chapter may seem a little weird but I had to write a chapter like this because this is what my dad did to me when I was recovering. Me and My Dad got every single mirror in the house even the little ones on the wall and we got all the scales and threw them out the window into my garden then attacked them with baseball bats. Yeah my dads not normal. So I'm gunna upload more tonight hopefully and if I don't then you can attack me with baseball bats (Not literally). Follow me on twitter crazyforskittle and please review. Bye :) :) :)**


	26. Chapter 24

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly**

**Freddie's POV**

For the rest of the night me and Sam cuddle on her couch. We did a little bit of kissing and a little bit of watching TV. I made us some fries to eat. I offered to make something else as well but she said she wasn't hungry. Now it's 11 and she's fallen asleep with her head on my chest. She looks so peaceful that I really don't want to disturb her but unfortunately I don't have a choice.

"Sam, wake up baby." I say gently shaking her until she sits up.

"What time is it?" She asks, still half asleep.

"Late, come on go to bed."

"I need to weigh myself first."

I can tell she's half asleep so she has no idea what she's saying.

"No you don't, I took you scales remember."

"Oh, Yeah" She replies and starts falling asleep again sat up head resting on my chest.

"Do you want me to carry you?"

She just replies with a little nod of the head and mumbles something but I can't tell what she's saying.

I pick her up bridal style and carry her into her room. I pull back the covers and lay her in bed. She looks so beautiful laid in bed. So sweet and innocent.

I try to pull away to return to the couch but her grip tightens on me again.

"Sam, You want me to stay in here with you again?"

Since she's too tired to talk she just nods and pushes the covers back for me to climb in next to her.

I climb in at the side of her and wrap my arms around her again her back facing me.

"Night beautiful" I say kiss her on the neck and close my eyes.

**Sam's POV**

I wake up early the next morning. I don't even remember getting in to bed last night or me telling Freddie he could sleep next to me.

I climb out of bed and go over to my drawers. I go into the bottom drawer to find it empty. That's when I remember what happened yesterday, Freddie took my scales away from me. I start panicking if I can't weigh myself or look in a mirror how am I supposed to know how fat I'm getting. Tears manage to escape my eyes and I start rummaging through my drawers looking for anything I could use as a mirror. I never even noticed Freddie wake up until he comes over to me and wraps his arms around me from behind.

"You OK." He asks me.

I don't reply just carry on looking around. He grabs my hands to stop me and turns me to face him. I can see him looking straight in my eyes so he must be able to tell I'm upset.

"Sam, what are you doing?" He asks in his stupid caring tone. When he talks like that I just can't lie to him.

"I need my scales, I need my mirror" I say with tears escaping my eyes.

"We went through this yesterday, I took them away to help you."

"Freddie you don't understand. How am I supposed to know how fat I'm getting without them."

"Come here…" He pulls me into a tight hug. "Look, I know you have this urge to look in mirrors and you feel like you need to weigh yourself to make sure you've not put weight on but this is bad for you. You need to put weight on to live and it's better you putting weight on and not knowing how much than you knowing and freaking out every time you put a couple of pounds on. As soon as you're back healthy and I think you can handle it you will get the mirror back. OK?"

"Freddie…" I whine.

"No." He shouts. "I love you and I'm not going to let you keep hurting yourself. I'm doing this for you."

I look down at the ground feeling ashamed.

"Sorry…" I whisper.

"It's OK, why don't you get dressed while I make you some breakfast. OK"

"OK." I reply and he leaves.

I walk over to my closet and pull out a pair of skinny jeans and a loose fit T-Shirt. I have no idea if I look ok or if these clothes even match since I can't look in a mirror, I'm just hoping I don't look like a hobo.

I walk out into the living room, Freddie is sat on the couch watching TV.

"I'm making us pancakes that ok?"

"Yeah."

He grabs my waist and pulls me down to sit with him.

"I better get dressed myself." He says trying to stand up but failing miserably.

"I don't think you should, I like the half-dressed Freddie I'm sure half the school would too."

"Funny, be back in a few."

He walks to the door and I stop him just as he's about to leave.

"Freddie…"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me the truth do I look ok? Because I haven't got a mirror so I don't know."

"You want the truth? You look gorgeous."

With that he disappears into my room and I'm left alone.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So here it is. I told you that I would upload again today then when someone threatens a chainsaw on you it makes you speed up a little Whateva876 I'm talking about you. This chapter is still quite short but it's longer than the last three so be happy. Hope you like this chapter, it took me like forever to write cause I got stuff on my mind but I finally finished it (Screams in celebration). Now I'm gunna go carry on rockin out to Demi Lovato Unbroken. Thanks for all the awesome reviews please keep reviewing. Follow me on twitter crazyforskittle I've lost count of how many times I've said that. Bye :):):):)**


	27. Chapter 25

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own ICarly**

**Freddie's POV**

After school Carly Sam and I all go back to Carly's. We've not really hung out with all three of us in a while now that me and Sam normally just go back to hers now.

We go into Carly's apartment and things are just normal. Me and Sam sit on the couch next to each other. She tries to shuffle away a little so I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer to me while Carly gets us all a drink from the kitchen. She walks back over putting the drinks on the table and staring at us.

"Why are you looking at us like that?" Sam asks sounding a little annoyed.

"Nothing I just never realised how cute you are together" Carly replies.

Sam blushes a little, she's not exactly brilliant at taking compliments, so I kiss her cheek and she smiles at me.

"You just got cuter" Carly says.

"I'll be back, I need to pee." Sam says as she leaves the room.

"So" Carly says sitting down by me. "How's Sam? You've not really talked about it recently."

"Well she's eating again, that's a good thing."

"And the bad?"

"I think she hates me."

"Why?"

"Well she had this diary where she would weigh herself in a morning and night and write her weight down in the book..."

"Seriously…"

"Yeah so I took away her scales and her full size mirror and made her rip this book up and I'm sure she thinks I did it because I hate her…"

"I'm sure she doesn't think that."

"I hope…"

"She's been in there a while, you think she's ok?"

"I'm sure she is"  
>Then it hits me.<p>

"Carly, do you have scales in your bathroom?"

"Yeah, in the cupboard why?

Carly's eyes go wide, she obviously figured out what I was thinking. She runs out the room towards the bathroom shouting Sam all the way up the hall. Then a couple of minutes later they both enter Carly dragging Sam by her wrist.

"Sam…" I say, it comes out more angry than disappointed.

I don't actually think she heard me because she's in her own world, just staring not talking not moving without being pulled. I walk over to her but she just keeps staring.

"Sam, you're scaring me. Please say something…" Carly adds.

"I've put on 6 pounds." She says without even flinching. Just keeps staring.

"See this is why I took your scales. So that you don't know you've put weight on, because every time you do you get upset."

I say pulling her into a hug.

"I just needed to know…" She replies.

"I know baby, but you have to let this go…"

I sit down on the couch and pull her into my lap her head against my chest.

"Don't!" Sam shouts in my face.

"What? I didn't do anything."

"Don't tell me it's good I'm putting weight on or try to make me feel better."

"Sam…" I whisper trying to comfort her. "This is why I took your scales away."

"I just needed to see it."

"Freddie, can I talk to Sam? Will you go pick us up a pizza or something?" Carly says giving me a weird look wanting me to leave so they can have a girl to girl talk.

"Sure," I answer. I kiss Sam and leave.

**Carly's POV**

When Freddie leaves I sit down at the side of Sam. She's not crying but you can tell she's wanting to. "Sam, listen to me. I know Freddie's the only person who talks to you about this but I want to help you too. This obsession you have with your weight it isn't healthy. You're beautiful all girls would kill to look like you and you need to see that."

"I just hate looking fat." She interrupts.

"You don't look fat, you could never look fat and Freddie doesn't think you look fat either. You're beautiful Sam, you're smart, you're hilarious and you're definitely beautiful. You don't need to change."

"Two beautifuls in one sentence wow."

"I'm serious. Do you know how lucky you are to have Freddie? He loves you for being you. He actually loves you that much he's determined to get you healthy again. Don't push him away because whatever he does even if you don't like it he's doing it to help you and if you keep going behind is back like you did just then he's eventually going to give up."

By now Sam's actually looking me in the eyes. I can tell she's thinking about what I just said. Just then Freddie walks through the door with our food.

"I got the pizza!" He says as he walks through the door.

Sam just walks up to him and kisses him. Doesn't say a word just grabs his neck and kisses him. When they finally break apart from the hug Sam just hugs Freddie gripping onto him.

"I'm sorry." She whispers into his ear.

Freddie gives me a super confused look and I just shrug my shoulders as if I know nothing.

"I love you…" Sam says as she pulls away from Freddie.

"I love you too." Freddie replies holding onto one of her hands.

"I'm going to try. You know recover. Just promise me you won't leave me if I screw up again."

"Sam, I promise." He replies giving her a gentle kiss on the hand he's holding.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: This took me exactly 6 hours 7 minutes to write. I am exhausted. But it's cool cause this is my favourite chapter. I writ this chapter for anyone who has a friend or someone they know going through anorexia. SHOVING FOOD DOWN THEIR THROAT DOESN'T WORK! Recently I've been through a time were I stopped eating again and my friends and family have tried to shove food down my throat. They don't see sitting down and talking works so much more than getting frustrated and forcing them to eat something. I just felt I needed to show that's not the only option to help someone. Thank you everyone for reviews I love reading your opinions. Please keep reviewing and I'll keep writing. Whateva876 Please don't use your taser on me :( I will upload again soon :). Follow me on twitter crazyforskittle Bye :) :) :) :)**


	28. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly**

**Carly's POV**

After me and Sam had a talk we spent the night at mine the three of us watching TV doing our old random stuff that we used to do. We ate our pizza even Sam had some, she did hesitate a little but she moved past it. Then they both went back to Sam's. Freddie practically lives there now since Sam's mum still isn't back from wherever she is.

**Freddie's POV**

When we got back to Sam's she went in her room to get changed. On the way home she's been really quiet which is worrying me a little. When I went to get a pizza I think something happened between Carly and Sam because when I came back Sam was acting strange. She was doing everything I asked and wasn't being herself. She's been acting strange since this whole thing started but tonight she was even weirder.

Sam walks out in her joggers and T shirt and sits at the side of me on the couch. She sits as close as possible and rests on my chest.

"Sam…"

"What did I do something?"

"No, what happened with you and Carly while I was gone tonight?"

"Nothing, we just talked."

"Talked about what?"

"Us."

"Us as in me and you?"

"Yeah,"

"Well what did Carly say because you've been acting weird ever since?"

"We were just talking about my weight and about if I kept sneaking around behind your back you'd eventually lose your patience and leave."

"Carly said I'm going to leave you."

"Not exactly but it doesn't matter now, I'm going to start eating again and stop sneaking around. So it doesn't really matter what she said."

"I guess…"

"I'm sleepy; I think I'm going to bed."

"Ok…"

"Will you sleep with me again tonight?" Sam asks.

"If you want me to, do you?"

"Yes, you make it easier to fall asleep."

So we both go into her room and climb into her bed. She has her back facing me and I wrap my arms around her.

"I love you." Sam says as she starts falling asleep.

"I love you too baby..."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes I know this chapter is the most stupidly short out of all the stupidly short but my mate stayed over last night so i didn't have chance to write this so i waited until she fell asleep to write it which was at 3 AM. So know I've stayed up all night just for you guys. I'll try upload again soon but I don't know when I will get chance it should be in the next couple of days. Sorry about any spelling mistakes but in my defence i wrote it at 3 AM. Follow me on twitter crazyforskittle BYE :) :) :) :) :) :)**


	29. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly**

**Sam's POV**

The alarm goes off the next morning waking me and Freddie up. I throw it against the wall to get it to shut up and it smashed.

"Sam, just because you smashed the alarm doesn't mean times going to magically stop and you get to stay in bed."

"Just another hour." I say without even moving or opening my eyes.

"Come on beautiful, you have to get up we got school."

"Fine, but when I kill someone it will be your fault."

"I'll go be making breakfast. You've got 2 minutes before I drag you out of bed."

And with that he's out the door and I'm laid in bed too tired to move.

"Sam, get out of bed!" Freddie shouts through to me. "You have 10 seconds before I come in there."

I just ignore him and carry on trying to sleep.

The next thing I know I feel Freddie on top of me shaking my shoulders.

"Baby, get up."

"No, I'm sleeping."

"Fine." He says and starts kissing my neck.

"What are you doing?"

"Waking you up." He says without taking his lips off my kneck.

"Freddie."

"I won't stop until you get up."

"Dude, by doing that you're making me not want to get up."

"Come on, get up"

He pulls me to sit up so he's facing me.

"Your breakfasts ready. So get up."  
>"Fine I'm up." I say swinging my legs over the side of the bed and standing up. He just follows me into the other room wrapping his arms around me from behind.<p>

"Sit down, I'll bring you your breakfast."

"OK," He goes into the kitchen and brings two plates with toast on them through.

"Here." He says handing me a plate and sitting down at the side of me.

"If I don't eat breakfast would you be mad at me?"

"Why don't you want breakfast?" He asks me resting his hand on my knee.

"I just don't feel too well."

I wasn't just saying that because I don't want to eat I actually don't feel well.

"How about just a little bit then, for me."

"Ok," I say taking a small bite.

I eat a little more but then I feel like I'm going to throw up so I just run to the bathroom.

**Freddie's POV**

I follow her up to her bathroom to find the door closed. I can hear her inside throwing up.

"Sam, open the door."

She just ignores me then a couple of minutes after she opens the door. She has tears down her cheeks and is shaking.

I pull her in to a tight hug.

"I told you I don't feel well."

"Go get back in bed."

"We've got school."

"You can't go to school when you're throwing up."

"Yeah but you have to…"

"I'll ditch to take care of you, go get back in bed."

I didn't have to tell her again she just gets back into bed . I stand at the side and watch her as she closes her eyes.

"If you need anything I'll be just through there."

"Ok, I love you." She says as she starts falling asleep.

"I love you too."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wasn't planning on uploading tonight but I thought I would to celebrate iq that comes out in 2 hours. I'm staying up until 1 again to see it. Sorry if this chapters got bad spelling but I stayed up all night last night at a sleepover and its 11pm no so I've not slept for 48 hours. I am very tired. Hope you like this I will try upload again tomorrow. Please keep reviewing and follow me on twitter crazyforskittle Night :) :) :) :) **


	30. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly...**

**Freddie's POV**

It got to 12:30 and I've not heard from Sam since she got up this morning. So I decide to go make sure she's ok.

I go into her room and she is sat up in bed hugging her knees face buried in chest.

"Sam…" I say sitting by the side of her placing my arm around her back.

"I can't sleep, I don't feel good."

"How long have you been sat like that?"

"A while."

"Why didn't you tell me, I've just been sat in there bored."

"I didn't want to annoy you, you do everything for me I feel ill and can't sleep I can't just get you in here it's not right."

"I don't mind, I like taking care of you."

I lay down at the side of her and she curls up to my chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm acting so weak."

"Shhh, go to sleep." I say comforting her and wait for her to fall asleep.

**Carly's POV**

Neither Sam nor Freddie came to school today. So I decide to go over there after school because I've not heard from them so it's kinda worrying me.

When I get to Sam's after school, I knock on the door and wait for her to answer. Freddie answered instead which I wasn't shocked about since all he does now is hang out there. We go inside and sit on the couch.

"Hi, where've you been all day?" I ask.

"Sam threw up this morning so she's been in bed all day." He replies.

"Is she ok?" I ask. I wish he had text me or something.

"She's fine. Don't panic." He says and places his hand on my shoulder in a comforting way.

Then something hits me. What if she meant to throw up? I start panicking all over again.

"Freddie…" I say trying to remember to breathe. "You don't think Sam threw up on purpose do you?" I ask him. A look of confusion and pain comes across his face. Just as he's about to say something Sam walks out from in there room. She sits down at the side of Freddie and kisses his cheek.

"Hey beautiful, how long you been awake?" He asks her placing his arm round her waist and pulling her as close as possible to him until she's literally sat on his knee.

"Not long, I thought I heard you talking to someone thought I'd come see. Sorry about earlier."

"It's fine…" He says. "Sam, can I ask you something?"

"Sure…" She replies.

"Earlier you didn't make yourself throw up did you?" He asks.

"Oh my god!" She yells straight back in his face. "Don't you trust me at all?" She shouts as she heads back into her bedroom, slamming the door on her way.

"Well, I think that was a no." Freddie says. "Baby," he adds walking over to the door. "I just needed to ask I'm sorry…"

"Just give her a couple of minutes she'll calm back down, you had to ask."

"Yeah."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry that it's short again. I don't have much time to write with a lot of personal reasons but I am gunna try upload more. I wrote this chapter cause the other week I was ill and threw up. I'm sure you all wanted to know that :). But because of my history of anorexia everyones on at me just assuming i made myself throw up. They don't realise I'm a human, humans get ill. I just wanted to write this chapter to prove that point. Thank you for all the great reviews, please keep reviewing and if you have any ideas let me no because I really am getting stuck on what to do with this story so at the minute i'm just trying to put person experiences in. Follow me on twitter crazyforskittle Bye dudes, dudettes. :) :) :) :) :)**


	31. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly**

**Freddie's POV**

It's been almost an hour since Sam stormed off into her bedroom. I feel so bad for making her mad but I know I needed to ask her.

"Maybe you should try talk to her again." Carly says.

I walk back over to her door and knock on it gently.

"Sam, you ok?" I whisper through the door. Again I get no reply. "Please come out Sam, I'm sorry." I add. I wait a few seconds then hear her unlocking the door and come out with tears in her eyes.

"Sam…" I say pulling her into a hug.

"I'm sorry." She says breaking down into more tears.

"Come sit down, we really need to talk."

I hold her hand and lead her to the couch and she sits next to Carly.

"I'm sorry about locking myself in my room…" Sam says looking down at the ground. I lift her head up by her chin to make her look at me.

"It's ok…" I say taking hold of one of her hands. "Why did you freak out so much?"

"Because…" She says and wipes a tear from her cheek. "You need to trust me. I hate that you don't."

"I'm sorry, I just care about you, we both do, we had to ask."

"Just please trust me…"

"I will." I pull her onto my lap her head in my chest.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: OK I'm sorry I've not been uploading recently I've been through a few things these past couple of days so I'm gunna start uploading more. I know this chapter is the shortest of all stupidly short but I wanted to upload before I go to my boyfriends since I'm staying there this weekend so wouldn't be able to upload til Monday. Please keep reviewing and follow me on twitter crazyforskittle Thats all night. :) :) :) :)**


	32. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: I do not own ICarly**

**Carly's POV**

The next day I text Freddie to ask how Sam is. He texts back saying that Sam's still no better and that neither of them are coming into school again. I can't help but feel like they're leaving me out sometimes. I hardly ever see them anymore and I know that Freddie's taking care of Sam and helping her 'recover' but I don't think they understand I want to help too.

**Freddie's POV**

When we woke up this morning Sam was still sick. I told her to get back in bed and she's been asleep all morning. I've just been watching TV but I'm kinda bored. I hear something from the other room and after a couple of minutes Sam comes out with her blanket wrapped around her and sits at the side of me.

"Hey beautiful, how you feeling?" I ask her as she snuggles into my chest.

"Like I want to go sleep and never wake up." She jokes.

"You want me to make you something to eat?"

"No, I don't think I can eat anything." She mumbles. "Can I just lay here with you for a while, I don't really wanna do anything."

"Fine with me…" I say and kiss her lightly on the head.

**Author's Note: And now this is the shortest of the stupidly short and I am sorry about that. Soon I will be back writing long chapters every couple of days but at the minute i really can't. I've got a lot of things on my mind right now and I'm struggling to write but I will keep uploading it will just take longer to upload. To be honest this chapter is absolutely pointless and probably bored you but I honestly just writ this chapter for the authors note. So please keep reading and reviewing I love reading them and I will upload probably Friday or Saturday. Bye :) :) :) :) Follow me on twitter crazyforskittle**


	33. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: I don't own ICarly**

**Freddie's POV**

A couple of days have passed since Sam was sick. She's a lot better now and seems a lot happier. She's still not eating as much as she should be but she's eating more each day so hopefully soon she will be eating healthy again. You can tell just by the way she acts that she's a lot happier. I practically live with her now since I stay over every night. Sam's slowly putting weight back on, she's starting to be her old beautiful self again.

**Sam's POV**

Things are starting to feel great again. I never actually thought I would say that but it's the truth. I feel happy I'm healthy, and telling the truth I wouldn't be like this if I didn't have Freddie. He's helped me through so much I don't think I would have got through it without him. I'm eating a lot more now and I'm not even caring that much. I'm not exactly stuffing myself with junk food but I'm staying healthy and not going overboard with it. I'm not going to lie getting past this has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I did it that's all that matters. The worst part was actually admitting to myself that I have a problem. Both Freddie and Carly would keep telling me you have a problem and try to get me to eat but even though deep inside I knew I would never admit it. I would not admit that I'm anorexic. What I noticed is once I finally admitted it an let people help me things got so much better. I might not be the skinniest girl in the world but that doesn't matter to me. Everybody is beautiful. Now I finally realise that I can work on getting healthy again.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I gave no warning or anything but this was the last chapter! I hate ending this story but I think now is the right time to end it and that I've gotten the message across about anorexia. The reason I writ this was because i wanted others who have anorexia to know that you can get help and I know I've done that from all the inbox's on here and twitter asking me for advice. The last part for Sam is a little out of character but i writ that bit for all the people who messaged me for help. I have struggled with anorexia and I know how you feel. If anyone ever wants to talk to me just message me cause I'm online 24/7 so i will message you back and i really hope you like this ending chapter. I am going to be writing a new story soon which will either be seddie or Sam based. It's going to be like this with a dark storyline. I see this psychiatrist every week about my anorexia and depression and self harming and she told me to start keeping a diary because it's a good way to get my feelings out but i decided to instead of writing a diary about my depression and self harm to write another story because that way i hope i can help someone else like me who is struggling. Keep checking out for the new story and please review this story so i know what you thought of it. And now the end of my very long authors note and IAnorexia. :) :) :)**


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